✍️ you can’t outsource thinking

To love a Creative Director is to love their little soapboxes. 

For example, a few things our CD is always saying: 

“Give the client what they need, not what they ask for.” 

“I better not see any of you using the phrase ‘no fluff’ in a social post.” 

“Does this inspire you yet?” 

“Let’s try it. If it sucks then we’ll do something different.” 

“Just delete the whole paragraph.” 

“TKTKTK.”

She has thoughts. So we’re handing the mic over to Emma today to be our marketing oracle for the year ahead. 

No fluff.

Oh hi there. Emma here hijacking Abby’s email. 👋 It’s a new year, so here’s my forecast. 

First, a prediction: Companies that slashed marketing teams in 2025 because "AI can do it" are going to be in a tough spot as they realize AI cannot, in fact, do it. At least not without deep, thoughtful, human-led effort.

There are plenty of tech and strategy considerations here, but I'm more interested in the talent side of things. Employers have made it clear they have zero loyalty to smart, valuable, or longtime employees.

So the big question becomes: How do you attract, develop, and retain top talent when you've been so shitty to that talent?

As someone who entered the workforce at the height of the "ping pong tables are our most important employee benefit" era, it'll be interesting to see how companies in 2026 make themselves appealing to candidates who've been burned before—and are maximally skeptical, cautious, and disinterested in good ol' company loyalty.

Next, a truth that will remain unchanged: You cannot outsource thinking. Not to an algorithm, not to a contractor, not to a crowd.

Everyone wants to be known for original, useful content, but few are actually dedicating the time to think original, useful thoughts.

Here’s how I think about it. (I’m a marketer, so obviously my preferred metaphor is a funnel.) 

Social media and gen AI have made the top of the "public ideas funnel" wider than ever. Anyone can pump out endless bad-to-okay-quality content.

But the bottom of that funnel—the perspectives that genuinely make you think about something in a new light, the Pulitzer-winning novels that move you to tears, the jokes that make you laugh so hard your ribs hurt—is as narrow as ever.

It will always be that narrow. 

So the endlessly wide funnel-top is oversaturated and uninspiring, and continuing to pour mediocre stuff into it won’t help you meet your marketing goals. 

Real differentiation happens at the elite level. Remember: eternally narrow. 

Now, a pet peeve: Content that gets "optimized" to death at the expense of...well, the content.

This year, I made the viral "dumpling bake" after seeing about 42,000 videos of it on Instagram.

This was my bad.

Because that recipe is optimized to look pretty and simple, but it is not optimized to actually taste good.

(In fact, I don't think I've ever made a viral recipe that tasted 10/10. You know what recipes do taste 10/10? The ones in the 1973 Madhur Jaffrey cookbook my husband brought home from the NYPL.)

In marketing world, I see so much content optimized to look pretty/simple/SEO-y…

But when you dig in, the taste is utterly forgettable. 

And finally, a manifestation: We’re gonna hire a killer copywriter to join our content team as storyarb grows this year. 

No, we’re gonna hire two. 

They’ll be fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack. And they’ll get to be part of the kindest, coolest, most creative group of writers in the biz. 

Phew.

Happy 2026. Let’s get to it.

Campaigns that got us talking: For a while there, Duolingo was the gold standard of “unhinged” marketing, hip corporate social, and virality. But this one was a miss. (Featuring a cameo from the original corporate edgelords, Wendy’s.) 

AI spotlight: Your AI-obsessessed LinkedIn connections are all talking about Claude Cowork, which is bringing “vibe coding” to the masses. Oh, and the tool mostly built itself, according to Claude’s engineers. HP Lovecraft, Mary Shelley, and Octavia Butler could not be reached for comment on this development. 

Stuff that made us scroll back up: We really like this marketing framework from Goldcast’s Sr. Director of Product Marketing.

Something we want The Standard readers to know? How to take back control of their marketing function with confidence, clarity, and leverage. 

Something we want you to feel? We’ve got your back. 

Something we want you to do? Book a demo with Abby. :)

Like we said, we’re hiring. A bunch. 

Currently in the market for: 

• A copywriter who loves language for its ability to spur action. 

• A content strategist who sees both the forest and the trees. 

• A client success manager ready to take this relationship to the next level.

• A marketing manager who helps us practice that sharp brand edge we preach. 

• A designer with style, grace, and impeccable taste. 

Job descriptions and application links all live here. Come run with us.

A few things yucking our yum in the marketing sphere these days: 

• vfinal_v5_REALLYFINAL_revised_USE-THIS-ONE 

• LinkedIn caps the number of jobs you can apply to, which feels…counterintuitive to helping people find jobs? 

• This one goes out to the designers we love: The feedback, “Can you just make it pop?”

The work that matters can't be delegated to algorithms or optimized into oblivion. It requires real thinking, real taste, and real humans who give a damn. So here's to hiring people who can do exactly that—and to making 2026 the year we stop confusing "viral" with "valuable."

See y’all next time. 

— the storyarb writers’ room 🫡

Oh! And another thing… The classic pound cake got its name because the original recipe used a pound of flour, a pound of butter, a pound of sugar, and a pound of eggs. The home chefs in us respect that this recipe was designed to be tasty. The copywriters in us respect the parallelism.